im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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