he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
