i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize