I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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