It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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