just come out here and I will go home with you...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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