I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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