I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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