when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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