do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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