How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We're too hungover to prance.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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