Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
