they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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