Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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