Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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