Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
