Don't you send me to vm
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well, you know. whores of a feather.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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