I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize