did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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