the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
