You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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