I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He felt like a one man threesome
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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