I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
where am i from again
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I die, sorry about rent.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
