finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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