what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
