My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
