forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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