She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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