He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...