Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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