my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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