Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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