sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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