"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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