from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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