i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize