your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Found the puke drawer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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