i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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