how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
