it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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