still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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