If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
