She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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