My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
