no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
