And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
