best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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