last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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