So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
