I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
