There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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