rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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