Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
