We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
