you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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