He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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