i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
