I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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