The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize