I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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